


can't give you something i can't find

by ShyAudacity



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Aftermath, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Moose, Character Study, Coming Out, Crushes, Falling In Love, Good Parent Fred Andrews, Gunshot Wounds, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Moose-Centric, Pre-Slash, Tell me if I missed anything, maybe idk, the original characters are just family members btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 23:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14092041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity
Summary: “How’d you do it?” He asks, finally. “How did you get your life back in order so soon?”Fred sputters for a minute, “You know- sometimes I’m not sure that I did.”ORMoose gets shot, holds hands with almost everyone, makes a new old friend, and learns a few things about himself along the way.





	can't give you something i can't find

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jugheadjones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jugheadjones/gifts).
  * Inspired by [takes guts to be gentle and kind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12489176) by [jugheadjones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jugheadjones/pseuds/jugheadjones). 



> I honestly thought that this was only going to be a few hundred words but then it got away from me. This is what happens when I re-read Julia's genius works at two in the morning. I'm not mad about it. 
> 
> Unbeta'd and title from Searching For A Feeling by Thirdstory.

Getting shot is different than Moose expected it would be. It hurts in ways he didn’t think it would, but also in all the ways that he’d imagined it might.

Jumping in front of Midge at the last second is a no-brainer, he’s always been the protective type. Two bullets rip through his stomach, then another in his shoulder. He thinks to himself: _huh, so that’s what getting shot feels like. Weird._

Midge screams in his ear, shrill as can be. Looking down, there’s already a growing puddle of blood between his legs, undoubtedly staining the upholstery and his jeans. He feels lightheaded just looking at it. Moose let his head fall back against the seat, his body feels heavy, aches in a way it never has before.

Seconds before he blacks out, he thinks to himself: _this… is not how I imagined my life would turn out._

***

The first time that he wakes up, it’s some bright, spiteful hour of the morning. He’s not sure what woke him, the sunlight hitting his face or the pain that spikes every time he breathes in and out. It hurts more than he expected. Just as well- he’s surprised to even be alive. He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that he’s in a hospital; the air is sterile and familiar.

Someone with calloused, gentle hands- likely his father- is holding one of his in both of their own. It makes him feel a little less afraid, even if he can’t bring himself to open his eyes yet.

Moose wiggles his toes, his fingers, just to make sure that they’re still there. He tries to clear his throat, regretting it when he realizes how dry it is. Whoever has been holding him this whole time squeezes his palm.

“Dad?”

“Moose? Kiddo, are you awake?”

He forces his eyes open, trying to get them to focus.

_No, not Dad. Close, though._

“Mr. Andrews?”

Again, surprised and unsurprised.

“Hey, bud… you’re okay. How do you feel?”

“Foggy. My Dad here?”

“Yeah, yeah, he just stepped out for a minute. You want me to call him?”

Moose shakes his head, then winces when it hurts. His eyes fall shut, he can feel himself drifting off.

“It’s okay, Moose,” Fred says, softly. “Someone will be here when you wake up.”

Moose nods as much as he can manage, grateful when Fred moves one of his hands to cradle his elbow. He curls his fingers around Fred’s hand, relieved that he isn’t alone right now.

***

The second time he wakes up it’s dark again and his Dad is there. This time he’s sure of it, he can smell the cigarettes that he keeps saying he’s gonna quit smoking. Moose has never seen his Dad cry before now; it’s sobering in a concerning way.

“Dad.”

Scott looks up from his book, lets it fall to the floor as he moves to get a hold of his son. He goes for the wrist, his grip full of purpose.

“Hey…hey, squirt.”

His Dad hasn’t called him that in _years_ , not since he was twelve and grew six inches in almost as many months. All it does is remind him of how dire this situation is, how he nearly _died_.

“How do you feel? Need me to get a doctor?”

Moose shakes his head, turns his palm over so that he can curl his fingers around the inside of his Dad’s wrist. He hasn’t felt this helpless in a long time.

“Mom went to pick up Sarah from the airport, but they’ll be back any minute. Alright?”

Moose nods, then says: “Mr. Andrews was here. That was real, right?”

“Yeah, yeah he was. He just went home to check on somethings, said he’d bring Archie by later if you’re up to it.”

Moose nods again, the familiar feeling of his eyelids- his whole body growing heavy. He’s not ready to go yet, but he has a feeling that he doesn’t have a say in the matter.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“I might fall asleep again.” He mumbles.

Scott moves to push his son’s matted, greasy hair away from his forehead.

“Okay… okay, we’ll be here.”

Moose is out again before he can finish the sentence.

***

It’s another day or two before he can stay awake for more than a few minutes. Even then, Moose is drowsy all the time and keeps falling asleep in the middle of conversations. As much as he’d like to, he can’t help it.

His older sister Sarah makes it a point to kiss the side of his face before she leaves the room, every time without fail. It’s like she’s afraid that Moose is going to disappear if she doesn’t do it. He’s not used to being the center of attention- at least not for this long, for such an intense reason. All of it makes him feel a little weird, kind of wishes that everyone would leave him alone, just for a minute.    

Much like he promised, Fred comes by again. He brings Archie and Reggie, then stands in the doorway, never once taking his eyes off of the boys. It dawns on him at some point that Fred was in the same position as him not even two weeks ago, lying in some hospital bed, a bullet wound somewhere on his body. It makes Moose wonder how he’s done it, how he’s gotten his life back together so quickly.

Kevin comes by on day four, looks both relieved and freaked out by the state that Moose is in, but he stays a while anyway. He relaxes the longer that he’s there, and it puts Moose at ease, knowing that Kevin feels comfortable around him.  

“I should probably get going,” Kevin says, starting to get up from his chair. “My Dad is gonna be wondering where I am.”

“Stay a little longer?” Moose tries, holding his hand palm up. “Please?”

Kevin looks at him warily, thinks about it for a second, then settles into the chair again. He reaches forward, linking his fingers in between Moose’s.

“Okay,” He says quietly. “I’m here.”

It’s the best that Moose has felt since he got into this mess.

***

Having to relearn how to walk isn’t something he expected, despite having been bedridden for nearly a week. The night before he supposed to be released to go home, Moose tries to get up to use the bathroom and his legs buckle beneath him, sending him to the floor. It’s the one time that no one is around, just his luck. It takes him ten minutes to pull himself up again so that he can call for a nurse. He’s sweating more than he’d like to admit.  

Physical therapy _hurts_. It feels like he’s being shot all over again- which, in honesty, is something he was hoping to avoid. The first few sessions are mostly spent playing catch with his bad shoulder, gaining movement again. Reggie and Archie come with him, taking turns throwing the ball back and forth; it makes Moose think of little league, of hot summers hanging out with his best friends, coming home covered in dirt.

He wishes that he could be that young again, even if just for a minute.

It’s day three of relearning how to use his legs and Moose is already fifty shades _done with this_. His thighs and abdomen are burning; at home, he’s been using his grandfather’s old wheelchair to get around, hasn’t seen the inside of his second-floor bedroom in nearly a month.

The support beams are his worst enemy, he’s sure of it. They do little to keep him upright, makes his palms sweaty and sore. Moose is going across- or at least trying to, for the fourth time today. Reggie and Archie are on opposite ends of the bars. His first two attempts ended with Reggie having to help him up from the floor after he losing his grip. The third time he got halfway across before his legs began to buckle, had to have Archie help him sit down.

He’s ready to claim defeat when he hears the door open, looks up just as Kevin comes waltzing in.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, surprised to see him. He doesn’t fail to notice how Archie and Reggie make themselves scarce as Kevin approaches; Moose wonders if they know something he doesn’t.

“A certain redhead told me you were here, said you’ve been having a rough day.”

Moose looks away, suddenly very focused on his thumbs.

Kevin crouches in front of him, “Anything I can do to help?”

“Not unless you can magically make my legs work again.” He grumbles.   

Kevin looks around for a minute, then turns back to Moose, a mischievous look on his face.

“Get up.”

“What?”

“Just- get up. I have an idea.”

Moose lets Kevin pull him to his feet, then leaves him at one end of the support beams.

Kevin walks over to the other side, motions him forward.

“Come over here.”

“Kev-.”

“If you come over here I promise I’ll give you anything you want. I mean it, milkshakes for a week, answers to the homework you’ve missed, anything- but you have to get here first… C’mon, you gotta face it sometime.”

Moose looks at him for a long moment, then down at his feet. He says to himself: _you’re better than this. You can outsmart a couple of metal rods and a body that refuses to work- you’re Moose Mason for crying out loud!_

He takes a deep breath, loosens his grip on the beams a little, then sticks one foot in front of the other. Then, he does it again, and again. He keeps moving, by some force of sheer will. Moose doesn’t realize he’s nearly there until he looks up and Kevin is standing two feet in front of him, a shit eating grin on his face. He’s taken and caught off guard by it that he loses his footing at the last second, falling into Kevin’s chest.

Kevin must see it coming because he sticks his arms out just in time, stables the two of them before they can go crashing to the floor. He’s got one arm around his waist, and the other on his chest, just above where his scar is from where the bullets entered him. 

“See?” Kevin says. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Moose nods, breathing heavy from the exertion. He can’t believe that he actually did it, he made it across, he _walked_ again. A bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face as he meets Kevin’s eye; he’s got this warm feeling in his chest that he can’t place. It seems to happen every time that Kevin comes around.

_Oh. So that’s what a crush is supposed to feel like._

“Alright, you made it across, so what do you want?”

All Moose can seem to do is gape at him, taken aback once again by everything that Kevin is. As a split-second decision, Moose cranes his neck forward, pressing his mouth against Kevin’s. It only lasts a second, but Moose already knows that he’d like to again, many, many times.

It’s Kevin’s turn to gape, his mouth falls open in shock.   

“Why did you do that?” He asks quietly.

Moose shrugs, “I wanted to.”

***

Moose gets a text from Archie a few days before Christmas.

**_Arch:_ ** _Hey I know it’s the holidays but Dad is having people over as kind of a “good riddance black hood” thing you can come if you want._

He’s out the door five minutes later.

He still hasn’t fully wrapped his head around the idea of the Black Hood having been caught. It feels a dream, too good to be true, even. His mom had cried when she told him, she’s been doing that a lot lately, it’s like she can’t stop herself. Moose tries not to think about as he makes the short walk around the corner to Archie’s place.

It’s like another world inside the Andrews house. Lights have been strung up around the living room, giving the place a calm vibe. He hasn’t been there since the night of the big party, but there’s just as much life and light in there now as there was that night. In a different way, of course, though it’s just as good.

He spots a few people from school, some of their parents, but it’s mostly people that live in the neighborhood. Fred spots him as soon as he walks in.

“Hey, Moose. I just pulled the macaroni casserole out of the oven. You want some?”

The food is good, the company even better. Moose mostly keeps to himself, tries to act like he doesn’t see the local moms glancing in his direction and whispering every few minutes. He’s grateful when Kevin swoops in to stop some freshmen from asking him what it was like to get shot.

Later, when the crowd in the kitchen gets to be a bit too much, he takes a minute to himself in the living room. As much as he’s enjoyed the night, being around so many people at once has been kind of a rude awakening, reminds him that he’s going to have to go back to school at some point.

“Mind if I join you?”

Moose looks up, Fred is standing a few feet away, an unreadable expression on his face. He nods, and Fred sits on the arm of the couch, obviously giving Moose his space. Something about it makes him feel like a child again, but not at all in a bad way, in a way he’s been missing these last few weeks.

“You doing alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good, just- needed a minute. That’s all.”

Fred hums in agreement, and the silence stretches between them. A burst of laughter comes from the kitchen, it sounds like Reggie; Moose wonders what over told joke he used this time. He looks over at Fred who has a small grin on his face, it makes Moose think that maybe he was thinking the same thing.

“How’d you do it?” He asks, finally. “How did you get your life back in order so soon?”

Fred sputters for a minute, “You know- sometimes I’m not sure that I did.”

“Really?”

“It was mostly Archie if you ask me. It sounds cliché, but I wouldn’t be here if weren’t for him. I don’t know what that says about me as a person, maybe it makes me a coward to rely on someone else like that. Who knows.”

“You’re a strong guy, Mr. Andrews.” Moose states, sure as can be.   

“Maybe, but hey,” He says, patting Moose’s arm. “You took two more than I did- that makes you stronger than me in my book.”

Moose doesn’t say that he’d have to agree to disagree on that one, but does thank him, regardless.

He doesn’t stay much longer after that, wants to get back before his mom starts to worry. On his way out, he gives Fred a hug, like a real one, not some lame, half-assed bro-hug that Reggie is always trying to force on him. Fred claps him on the shoulder- his good one, _thank god_ \- as if to say: _I know, I understand. It’s okay._

The next morning, Moose comes out to his family over breakfast. He tells them about being Bi, but decides to leave Kevin out of it- he’s not sure if he’s ready to go public about that. His mom cries, of course. Sarah kisses the side of his face like she always does, swears up and down that she’s proud of him. His Dad hugs him, holding Moose with as much intent as he did that day after he was shot.  

He didn’t realize it then, but Moose is finally starting to feel like himself again.

***

He’s been lying in the dark, trying to fall asleep for an hour when his phone goes off. Kevin’s smiling face fills his screen, and Moose has to wonder why he’s calling so late.

“Kev?”

 _“Hi.”_ He says, sounding shy.

“Hey. What’s up? Are you okay?”

 _“Yeah, I just- I had a bad dream about…_ that day _, in the woods. I don’t know. I just wanted to call you, make sure that you were okay. Sorry if I woke you.”_

“No, it’s okay… I’m still here.” Moose says, softly. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I love Moose, but he never gets any screen time so I just hope that I'm characterizing him correctly. Anyways, I just want him and Kevin to kiss at some point. 
> 
> Thanks for reading my fic! Kudos/Comments/Prompts are encouraged and well appreciated. Thanks again for reading, have a great day!


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